The Dark Night’s Gift

 It’s easy to be grateful for the things I like.

The beauty of the lake and mountains,

Cherished family and the memories we share,

The company of good friends,

A hot cup of tea,

Good health,

Caring colleagues,

A long career of helping people create fulfilling lives,

Turning marriages around,

Helping parents heal so their kids grow up,

feeling nurtured in a way they did not.

Loving and being loved.

It’s easy to be grateful for the things I like.

I contemplate the hard times now.StairsIlluminated by PedroJPerez Morguefile Free

The times when I was deeply hurt.

When people didn’t love me.

When I felt alone and lonely.

When I tried and tried to make a loving relationship work, and it failed.

When I made poor decisions that hurt others and myself.

I thought I was doing the right thing,

but it turned out to be so wrong.

My ego was bruised and battered,

That’s all I knew to hold onto.

Like a ship sinking in the night,

My ego struggled to survive,

Flailing against the darkness.

Grasping for a hand to hold and finding none.

I am most grateful for these times.EYE Micah Morrow free

Bit by bit, I let go of defining myself by external things:

Whether or not I was in a loving relationship,

Whether or not people understood me.

Whether or not people judged me.

Whether or not I succeeded.

Because of the incessant stormy nights,

I came to know my identity in a new way.

At my core of my being is love.

At the core of my being is light.

At the core of my being is contentment.

At the core of my being, the Holy Spirit flows like a river,

Ever-renewing, constant, enduring, good and wise.

Flowing from me and out of me,

Drawing me deeper into the intimacy of divine romance.

BenitaEsposito 2013* * *

Thanksgiving Day, 2013

Benita A. Esposito, MA, LPC

Copyright 2013, The Esposito Institute, all rights reserved.