Surefire Ways to Create an Honest and Connected Relationship
An Interview with Drs. Gay and Katie Hendricks.
I took the following notes while listening to Arielle Ford interview Gay and Katie Hendricks, relationship experts whom I highly respect. Much of my couples work is similar to theirs, and I am happy to share their insights with you. If you use these techniques, your relationship WILL improve! Read more
1. Vulnerability + authenticity + empathy = safety and intimacy
2. Tell the truth faster.
3. Ask: What can I do to love my partner in more purity?
4. Increase your ability to love yourself deeply.
5. Find the innermost pain, be non-judgmental. Stay present. Breathe! Read more
“Our Journey Together With Benita A. Esposito”
In the following story, you’ll see how a distressed couple on the verge of divorce transformed their marriage in six months. The story is told by the wife. Scroll to the end to read about the breakthroughs and what worked in therapy.
Research published by the American Medical Association indicates that 90% of all disease is stress-related. Our mind, body, emotions, spirit and relationships intricately affect each other. When we heal the emotional or spiritual root of dis-ease, pain can ease up. Sometimes other physical symptoms vanish completely. I’ll show you what I mean in the following story. Emily’s heart condition and her emotional pain healed when her husband joined her in counseling. Psychotherapy can accelerate healing, and is used as an adjunct to medicine. Read more
Carol’s heart was racing. She thought it could be a heart attack so she went to the emergency room. An MRI revealed no heart dysfunction so her doctor diagnosed it as a panic attack. She came to therapy because she wanted to discover the underlying cause so she could heal the condition without drugs.
Session 1. Carol opened our first session by explaining her recent medical emergency and then announced, “Let me tell you what I think is really causing this. It’s my relationship with my husband!”
My first mentor told me, “Conflict is a necessary part of intimacy.”
I didn’t want to hear that. I hated conflict, but his words rang true. I knew I wasn’t good at conflict management, and because of that, many of my relationships did not thrive. That was 30 years ago and since then, I have spent zillions of hours learning how to handle conflict productively. Read more
Here are a few of my favorite books for couples. I approach Couples Counseling from three perspectives. 
Read more
A love letter from a daughter to her father.
Unresolved emotional wounds from our childhood affect our adult relationships. This short story shows you how I used a special technique to heal the relationship with my father. That helped me heal the hole in my soul so I could feel whole. And that helped me create healthy relationships with men in my adult life. You can use this tool to heal a variety of childhood wounds that keep you stuck in unhealthy patterns as an adult. Read more
Perhaps we will be together in many places,
in many phases of our lives:
Chatting with friends,
Swirling on the dance floor,
Competing in sports,
Delighting in intellectual conversations, Read more
Sometimes in our darkest hours,
we have to rely on the knowledge
and perception of others.
We have to trust. Read more
