How to Choose a Marriage Counselor

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Most people don’t realize that Couples Counseling is one of the most challenging specialties in our counseling industry. That’s why many therapists don’t offer it.

Let’s consider this analogy. If you developed a heart condition, you would begin with a visit to your primary care physician who is a generalist. But you would not receive all the help you need there. You would need to see a cardiologist who has years of advanced training in heart conditions. Read more

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Conflict Management in Marriage: 17 Do’s and Don’ts

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Key Concept: Vulnerability + Authenticity => Safety + Intimacy

Introduction

Many of us feel uncomfortable with conflict. In fact, some of us hate conflict. We try to avoid it and hope it goes away. We’re like an ostrich sticking our head in the sand. We like to think “time heals” but more often than not, emotions intensify, and then there’s one incident that breaks the camel’s back. We distance from the one we love most, or we get critical, defensive or contemptuous. Either way (distancing or attacking) hurts. Read more

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Couples Counseling FAQs

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Couple on sofa

Q: What’s the success rate of your Couples Counseling programs?

I use two proven research-based Couple Therapy programs: Emotionally Focused Therapy and Gottman Couple Therapy Method. Research proves these approaches help couples build (or rebuild) the bonds of love and connection. 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvements. Read more

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Pre-Marital Counseling: How it Works

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Are you considering pre-marital counseling to get your marriage off to a healthy start? I am happy to help you learn research-based skills so you can become a master of marriage. Read more

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Worst Four Behaviors that Ruin Marriage

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four-horsesThe Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Don’t Let Them Ruin Your Marriage.

Dr. John Gottman, professor emeritus at University of Washington, studied 3,000 couples over 30 years to determine what makes “masters of marriage” and “disasters of marriage.”  He can predict divorce with 93% accuracy. We now know exactly what destroys marriages, and what is needed to create happy marriages.

Click the video below to learn about The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Read more

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Dr. John Gottman’s Marriage Research FAQs

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Dr. John Gottman is a rigorous psychological researcher who has studied what makes “Masters and Disasters of Marriage” for 50 years. Couples hang out at his “Love Lab” in Seattle for a weekend while assistants record their behavior and physiological responses. Gottman can predict divorce with approximately 94% accuracy. In this article, you will read popular FAQ’s about Dr. Gottman’s research. Read more

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Dr. John Gottman’s Marriage Research Statistics

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Dr. Gottman’s mathematical research on “masters” and “disasters” of marriage predicts divorce with 94% accuracy rate based on 3,000 couples in longitudinal studies.

Here are some key statistics below.

  • Half of all divorces occur in the first 7 years.

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Success, Love and Money. Can you have it all?

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Does Wealth Create True Fulfillment?

Let me tell you a story about my friend, Jan Dahlin Geiger.  Many years ago when Jan was in her mid-30’s, she was an executive earning $100,000 per year. In today’s dollars, adjusted for inflation, that would be $300,000. She was ranked in the top 5% of all income-earners in the U.S., and the top 1% of all women income-earners. She had reached every goal she had ever set. Married with two young sons, you would have thought her life was idyllic, but she was not happy. Why? At first, she did not know why. Read more

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Marriage Essentials: Appreciation and Affection

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Do you know that expressing appreciation is one of the essential ingredients of a happy marriage? That’s right. According to Dr. John Gottman’s research, we must express at least five positive interactions to neutralize the impact of one negative interaction. In really happy marriages, couples express 20 positives to every one negative. The mostly destructive interactions contain criticism, defensiveness, contempt or stonewalling. When we express ourselves in this way without effective repair attempts, Gottman predicts divorce with 94% accuracy. Read more

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Overcoming Communication Challenges

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Surefire Ways to Create an Honest and Connected Relationship
An Interview with Drs. Gay and Katie Hendricks.

I took the following notes while listening to Arielle Ford interview Gay and Katie Hendricks, relationship experts whom I highly respect. Much of my couples work is similar to theirs, and I am happy to share their insights with you. If you use these techniques, your relationship WILL improve! Read more

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