Pre-Marital Counseling: How it Works
Are you considering pre-marital counseling to get your marriage off to a healthy start? I am happy to help you learn research-based skills so you can become a master of marriage. Read more
10 Tips to Sustain Emotional Intimacy During a Conflict
Have you ever been stuck in a painful conversation with a family member or coworker? You just can’t seem to understand each other? I know how frustrating and hurtful that can be.
Instead of escalating your emotions and blaming or withdrawing, you can use the following simple road map to move into a deep emotional connection … even in the midst of conflict. Read more
Worst Four Behaviors that Ruin Marriage
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Don’t Let Them Ruin Your Marriage.
Dr. John Gottman, professor emeritus at University of Washington, studied 3,000 couples over 30 years to determine what makes “masters of marriage” and “disasters of marriage.” He can predict divorce with 93% accuracy. We now know exactly what destroys marriages, and what is needed to create happy marriages. Read more
Dr. John Gottman’s Marriage Research FAQs
Dr. John Gottman is a rigorous psychological researcher who has studied what makes “Masters and Disasters of Marriage” for 50 years. Couples hang out at his “Love Lab” in Seattle for a weekend while assistants record their behavior and physiological responses. Gottman can predict divorce with approximately 94% accuracy. In this article, you will read popular FAQ’s about Dr. Gottman’s research. Read more
Dr. John Gottman’s Marriage Research Statistics
Dr. Gottman’s mathematical research on “masters” and “disasters” of marriage predicts divorce with 94% accuracy rate based on 3,000 couples in longitudinal studies.
Here are some key statistics below.
- Half of all divorces occur in the first 7 years.
Success, Love and Money. Can you have it all?
Does Wealth Create True Fulfillment?
Let me tell you a story about my friend, Jan Dahlin Geiger. Many years ago when Jan was in her mid-30’s, she was an executive earning $100,000 per year. In today’s dollars, adjusted for inflation, that would be $300,000. She was ranked in the top 5% of all income-earners in the U.S., and the top 1% of all women income-earners. She had reached every goal she had ever set. Married with two young sons, you would have thought her life was idyllic, but she was not happy. Why? At first, she did not know why. Read more
Marriage Essentials: Appreciation and Affection
Do you know that expressing appreciation is one of the essential ingredients of a happy marriage? That’s right. According to Dr. John Gottman’s research, we must express at least five positive interactions to neutralize the impact of one negative interaction. In really happy marriages, couples express 20 positives to every one negative. The mostly destructive interactions contain criticism, defensiveness, contempt or stonewalling. When we express ourselves in this way without effective repair attempts, Gottman predicts divorce with 94% accuracy. Read more
Healing the Relationship with My Father
The Only Time I Saw My Father Cry
A Short Story About the Struggle to Forgive
Last Sunday, our pastor reminded us of Jesus’ message, “Before you pray, you must forgive.” A memory flashed across my mind of the only time I saw my father cry. Read more
Intimacy Killer: Conflict Avoidance
Do you avoid conflicts because you want to keep the peace in your relationship? That may work for a while, but eventually you will distance from each other, widening the gap in your intimacy – the very thing you did not want. You will find yourself in a catch-22. If you do not deal with the conflict, distance eventually increases. If you deal with the conflict, fear of rejection or anger may increase. What’s the wisest thing to do? Read more
How Do You Mend a Broken Heart?
If you are amongst the brave, you have fallen in love and taken your chances. Inevitably, our hearts are broken, whether within a long-term marriage or a short-term relationship. In the following story, I share about my broken heart. Although my particulars may not be yours, please read the story with the intent to glean the wisdom that is meant for you or your loved ones at this time. Read more
