Building Bridges, Not Walls: Navigating Conflict in Relationships. Part 2


Part 1 of this series
explored common conflict patterns in relationships, particularly the “attack-withdraw” cycle. In this pattern, one partner confronts an issue while the other withdraws or placates to get the heat off. Vulnerability is needed to break down emotional walls and build stronger connections. In Part 2 here, you’ll discover why you get so upset during conflicts. You’ll learn strategies to re-center and connect with your Authentic Wise Self. Using Internal Family Systems, you’ll increase your ability to communicate adeptly because you’ll be more self-aware. These are the first steps in effective conflict management.

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Couples Relationship Workshop 2025

Fostering Secure Attachment 

through Effective Communication

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One day: Saturday, February 15, 2025

A Virtual Communication Skills for Couples Workshop Read more

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 6 Do’s and Don’ts for a Happy Healthy Relationship

Learning how to foster a fulfilling relationship is important whether you are married or single. The information I am going to share can be applied to any relationship: marriage, dating, cohabitating, friendship, siblings, parent-child, or a work relationship.  Read more

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Happy Wife, Happy Life

I’m writing to men here. But if you are a woman who is married, dating or engaged, you’ll probably want to read this, too. Give him a gentle nudge to read it. Read more

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Tired of Conflict?

Whether it’s with your spouse or your mother, if you don’t already experience an emotionally secure connection, even little conflicts can damage the relationship. Read more

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Can My Marriage Be Saved?

 

That’s one of the first questions people ask me when they call about marriage counseling.

The answer is: It depends. Can you both answer ‘yes’ to these questions? Read more

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How to Choose a Marriage Counselor

Most people don’t realize that Couples Counseling is one of the most challenging specialties in our counseling industry. That’s why many therapists don’t offer it.

Let’s consider this analogy. If you developed a heart condition, you would begin with a visit to your primary care physician who is a generalist. But you would not receive all the help you need there. You would need to see a cardiologist who has years of advanced training in heart conditions. Read more

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Conflict Management in Marriage: 17 Do’s and Don’ts

Key Concept: Vulnerability + Authenticity => Safety + Intimacy

Introduction

Many of us feel uncomfortable with conflict. In fact, some of us hate conflict. We try to avoid it and hope it goes away. We’re like an ostrich sticking our head in the sand. We like to think “time heals” but more often than not, emotions intensify, and then there’s one incident that breaks the camel’s back. We distance from the one we love most, or we get critical, defensive or contemptuous. Either way (distancing or attacking) hurts. Read more

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Couples Counseling FAQs

Couple on sofa

Q: What’s the success rate of your Couples Counseling programs?

I use two proven research-based Couple Therapy programs: Emotionally Focused Therapy and Gottman Couple Therapy Method. Research proves these approaches help couples build (or rebuild) the bonds of love and connection. 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvements. Read more

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Pre-Marital Counseling: How it Works

Are you considering pre-marital counseling to get your marriage off to a healthy start? I am happy to help you learn research-based skills so you can become a master of marriage. Read more

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